Sasuke's Logic
by VolumeofForgottenLore
Summary: Tonight was the night of the Festival, and Sasuke is determined to let everyone know that a certain little Kitsune is his. Only his. And with his logic and Uchiha-ness, Sasuke cannot fail.


"Naruto, please

"Naruto, please?"

"No."

"Just this once?"

"Uh…no."

"For me?"

"HELL NO!" Naruto shouted into the face of his rival/best-friend/boyfriend.

Sasuke looked a little put out at the response Naruto had given him. He was an Uchiha. And Uchiha's always have their way. But obviously Naruto seemed oblivious to this unwritten law of nature. Sasuke being…well…an Uchiha, figured that Naruto would soon succumb to his almighty Uchiha-ness and do what was asked of him.

"Look all you have to do is pu…"

"H to the E to the double L NO TEME! How many times do I have to tell you? I am not wearing that…that…abomination."

Sasuke bristled at this. "It isn't an abomination. It was my mother's."

Naruto didn't let up. "Yes! Exactly. It was your _mother's_, as in maternal guardian, as in female parent, as in _GIRL_! And while it would look nice on one, you seem to fail to notice that I am in fact _not_ a girl." Naruto finished his statement with a huff and stormed out of the Uchiha mansion.

If it wasn't an unwritten law of nature that Uchiha's did not pout, Sasuke would have. All he was trying to do was to get his little kitsune into his mother's kimono. It was a pretty little thing. The kimono was a nice deep blue that would accent Naruto's eyes perfectly. Fire licked the bottom of the kimono and traveled up to about the waist, emphasizing any curves that may have been hidden beneath the silk. The sleeves were long, meant to cover the entire hand and then some. They too, had fire at the hems. The obi was also done with the design of fire, and the ends of the bow hung low, right above the ankle. But that wasn't the best part about this special kimono. Nope. The best part about this wonderful delicate outfit was…the Uchiha symbol printed between the shoulder blades!! Sasuke chuckled at this. If Naruto were to wear this kimono to the festival tonight, everyone would see the infamous Uchiha fan, and no one would dare touch his blond. Oh yes, Sasuke was a very possessive, naughty boy.

"Why can't he just wear the damn thing" Sasuke sighed frustrated. So what if it was a girl's kimono? Naruto had a very feminine body for a boy. Even though Naruto radiated power and masculinity, he was small, slight, and gave off this overwhelming feeling that screamed 'Take me now Sasuke-sama. Protect me with your almight seme-Uchiha-ness!' Sasuke smirked. He would definitely protect Naruto with his almight seme powers. Not from ninjas no, but from perverts and pedophiles other vile creatures that lurked in shadows just waiting to take the precious (although highly trained in the art of swift assassination) blond. This thought made Sasuke stop. The kimono was sure to show off every curve of Naruto's body, acting as bait for the vile creatures. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for him to wear it. Sasuke looked at the kimono in his hands. No. The predators would see the Uchiha symbol and the run in fear as Sasuke bravely protected Naruto with his Uchiha-ness, and then Naruto would pronounce his love for him and then pull off the perfect submissive act by falling into Sasuke's arms and asking to be taken at that spot with all the people watching and then everyone will know that Naruto was Sasuke's and then those bitchy fan girls will stop chasing him and….Sasuke paused in his mental rant as he realized something. Naruto objected to wearing the kimono because it was feminine. He never objected to wearing the Uchiha symbol. This put Sasuke in a very good mood. So what if Sasuke only showed Naruto the front of the kimono that was seemingly Uchiha-free? Since it was obvious- to Sasuke- that the cloth was obviously Uchiha made, Naruto should have known somewhere on the silk lurked the Uchih clan symbol and would have immediately attacked him for being possessive (again). This was Sasuke's logic, and currently in his mind Naruto wanted the world to know that he was an/belonged to an Uchiha. But still, he wanted the kitsune to wear the kimono, girly or not. And Sasuke knew just how to do it. With an evil grin, Sasuke walked out of his house the Naruto's apartment, kimono in hand.

"Stupid bastard. Why in the hell would I wear that thing?" Naruto was pacing in his living room, ranting about the audacity Sasuke had to want him to wear such a thing. "I am clearly _not_ a girl. _He_ clearly knows I am not a girl." Naruto blushed as visions from the previous night entered his mind. Oh yes. Sasuke had to know, that Naruto was _definitely_ a boy. Naruto shook his head as his thoughts went to very…inappropriate… places and all the blood started to head south for the winter. A very _long_ winter.  
"And what was with the Uchiha symbol? Bastard probably doesn't know that I saw it. I knew he was possessive but damn! Can't he just announce that we're together instead of basically branding me?" Naruto paused in his pacing as he heard a knock on the door. He recognized the chakra signature immediately. Just as he was about to put operation Ditch the Possessive Bastard into action, the front door swung open. Naruto had only gotten one foot into the hidden tunnel behind the couch he had dug out with a spoon, before he was grabbed by the collar and thrown onto the couch.

"TEME!" Naruto screamed and then proceeded to shout other nonsense that Sasuke didn't care to listen to.

Sasuke, being used to the high octaves Naruto's voice was able to reach, calmly placed the kimono on the armrest of the couch and waited until Naruto finished.

"…get the peanut butter out of your ass!" Naruto was red from the strain on his lungs. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at the last statement, but ignored it. It was time to put his plan into action.

"I am an Uchiha."

Naruto looked at Sasuke with the 'Soooo why do I care' face.

"I always get what I want."

Here we go again. "And I am Naruto. And I never do what you want."

"You are really cute."

Naruto closed his mouth at the statement and blushed heavily.

"A lot of the guys ogle you, unfortunately." The last word was mumbled under Sasuke's breath. "And I have even heard them talk about things they would like to do with you."

Naruto shuddered, but he tried not to let Sasuke's words get to him. "Yea right. And who would these people be?"

"Neji, Gaara, sometimes Kiba, Ebisu, Kakashi, Itachi, Orochimaru, Sakura, Hinata…" Sasuke trailed off as Naruto turned green. His plan was working. "Sai." At that name Naruto jumped up and clung to Sasuke, looking frantically around.

"Where is he?" the blond whispered into Sasuke's neck, shivering. Sai was a scary character. Sasuke didn't particularly like this reaction to Sai's name. Had the bastard done something to Naruto?

"Did the bastard do something to you?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, already on number 31 on the List of Ways to Kill and/or Torture Sai.

"He is always there." Naruto gave a quick glance around the room before climbing off Sasuke. "And no matter what I do, he won't leave me alone. I even told him that you wouldn't be pleased to know he was gawking at me."

"Did you tell him I was sleeping with you?"

Naruto hit Sasuke upside the head. "No! Pervert!"

"Want to get rid of Sai?" Regardless of Naruto's answer, soon Sai would be M.I.A.

Naruto shook his head vividly.

"Then wear the kimono. Show him that you belong to an Uchiha." Naruto's eyes narrowed at this solution.

"HELL NO! As much as I love belonging to an Uchiha - possessive as his is- I don't want to be branded and I don't want to be known as an Uchiha-bitch. I. Am. A. Boy!! Don't you have enough proof of that?!"

Sasuke smirked. Naruto basically admitted that he loved being the ever submissive uke to Sasuke and would do anything for the raven. Even though this was far from the actual statement, Sasuke loved reading into Freudian slips. They provided many loop holes that Uchiha's took advantage of. But now isn't the time to talk about how Naruto would soon be forever branded as Sasuke's pet. It was time for the last part of the plan.

"Well then, I will just have to sell these pictures that I have of you to your fan group, proving that you belong to me and hopefully, your stalkers will leave you alone. Either that or they beg for more pictures but it's better than having Sai on your back. A picture will last longer." Sasuke held up a stack of pictures that he kept on his person. At _all_ times. They were worth tons. People from every village would come to see Sasuke and pay thousands to get their hands on the little gold mine. He would be able to buy a whole mansion with those pictures.

Naruto gaped at the pictures. They were of him. In some he was fully dressed but smiling happily. In others he had his jacket off or was shirtless. In a lot of them he was in very submissive poses. Those pictures seemed to be taken after training, or after some…heavy…duty…fun time with Sasuke. In most of them he was almost naked.

"Ho…how did you?" Naruto's eyes filled with tears as Sasuke revealing a very embarrassing photo involving Naruto, a bathtub, and a bottle of soda.

"It doesn't matter how. It just matters if you want me to help you out or not."

Naruto lowered his head in defeat and mumbled something under his breath.

"Sorry. Can't hear you."

"I said I'll wear the damn kimono."

"That's right. Because an Uchiha always gets what they want."

Naruto glared at Sasuke before he picked up the kimono and headed toward the bathroom to prepare for the festival. Of course, Sasuke followed.

"Sasukeeeeeeee!" Naruto wined.

"What?"

"…Just felt like annoying you."

"Hn. Dobe."

"Teme. But seriously. I look ridiculous." Naruto complained hiding behind Sasuke's back. The two ninja were now attending the festival. There were many booths, each of them ranging from games, to food stands, to small stands selling trinkets. And the place was crowded. It seemed that every citizen of Konoha, ninja and civilian, was attending the festival. Naruto blushed as he heard a whistle from an onlooker. Sasuke glared at the pervert, who immediately slinked away, frightened by the almighty Uchiha-ness. Sasuke then turned his attention back to his date.

"You look fine. Extremely fine."

Naruto blushed. But the boy did look hot. The kimono fit him well, hugging his body in all the right places. His eyes seemed to sparkle even more so than usual and his golden hair was pulled back with sapphire hair pins. Courtesy of Uchiha Mikoto of course.

"But that's not the point. The point is that I look like a girl."

"No. You look like a…very cute…very feminine, uke boy." Sasuke teased. Naruto scoffed at him and turned away, but soon hid behind the Uchiha once more as others started to leer at him.

"Stupid teme. I am here in a woman's kimono, and your just oozing masculinity." Sasuke had decided to wear a kimono that matched Naruto's. It was his father's. His parents had bought them as a matching set. Sasuke' of course, was more manly and Uchiha-like, with the obi being shorter and not so form fitting.

"You're still a boy. And it doesn't matter what anyone thinks, because I know you're a boy. A very manly, loud, obnoxious, idiotic, annoying, clumsy boy."

Naruto stopped listening after Sasuke had said he was very manly. "Ooooh Sasuke. Let's play that game. Win me something?" Naruto pulled out the uke eyes despite his recent protest to being manly.

Sasuke marched over to the game stand and eyed a huge stuffed bear. It had golden fur, much like Naruto's hair and blue eyes. The game involved knocking over milk bottles with a ball. Sasuke chose the biggest stacking of milk bottles and threw the ball. All of the bottles smashed to bits and the owner of the stand passed Sasuke the bear while still looking at the broken glass in awe. Sasuke was about to turn away when he saw that a piece of a bottle he had broken was not quite small enough for him. It was one of his own private rules that anything that an Uchiha breaks must not be bigger than an inch wide. The piece of glass was 1.001 inches wide. Sasuke glared at it, hoping his Uchiha-ness would split the glass in two. After about 2 seconds the glass piece decided to submit and broke in 5 pieces. Sasuke was highly satisfied.

"Thanks Sasuke!" Naruto hugged the bear Sasuke gave him, and rewarded his boyfriend with a nice peck to the cheek.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAWEEEEEEE!!"

Naruto turned around to see Sakura and Ino swooning at him and Sasuke.

"So it's true!"

"You two are together!"

"Awe, you're so cute as a couple!"

"Naruto, you look nice."

"Oh my gosh! You have the Uchiha symbol on your back."

"Really? Let me see!"

"Wow! So have you two done it?"

"Ino! That was rude to ask!"

"But have you?"

"I bet you have!"

This continued on for a while. The two girls manhandled Naruto while Sasuke stood back watching. He was proud of his boyfriend. He played the Uchiha pet well. But he was not happy with the way Big-brow and Pig-girl were touching Naruto. He was about to intervene when Chouji and Lee came up.

"Ahhh. Naruto looks hot." Chouji commented while taking a bite out of his dango.

"The joys of youth!" Lee exclaimed.

"Hn."

"Wow. He has your clan symbol on his back. But he's not an Uchiha." Chouji said.

"AH. The love Sasuke holds for Naruto isn't bound by any name. Let their love reign FREE!"

Sasuke smirked. So the fools recognized Naruto as his. Now all that was left was to get Sai to see that and life would be complete.

"Naruto-kun." The voice Sasuke hated reached his ears. He bristled as Sai extracted Naruto from the giddy girls and held him a little too close.

"Sai. What the hell?" Naruto jumped away from Sai and sought refuge. He saw Sasuke and quickly ducked behind his back.

"Sai."

"Sasuke-kun."

Sai smiled at Sasuke while trying to get a good look at Naruto. His face dropped slightly as he saw the Uchiha symbol on the boys back. "I see you have staked your property."

"The HELL? I am NOT property." Naruto came from behind Sasuke and yelled at Sai. He continued to do so as Sasuke blanked out on what the blond was actually saying and concentrated on how he looked. Naruto looked cute when he was angry. Those eyes would intensify and sometimes even turned to a deep purple when he was angry enough to let some of Kyuubi's power leak into his system. His face would flush and made him look irresistible.

"…cockroach on your forehead!!" Naruto finished and stormed off in some random direction, lugging his huge teddy bear with him. Sasuke was proud. Naruto, was the perfect little Uchiha wife. Sasuke passed Sai (who was stock still from the wrath of Naruto) with a sneer and followed the kitsune.

"Naruto-kun." Sasuke heard another voice he loathed to hear.

"Neji!" Naruto glomped the pale eyed boy.

"Uchiha." Neji stared at Sasuke.

"Hyuuga."

The wind blew between the two boys. A tumble weed even passed by, confusing the hell out of Naruto.

"O…kay. I am going to play a game now." Naruto announced sheepishly before turning to the nearest stall.

"Would you like me to win you something?" Neji asked taking his eyes off of his…enemy.

"No. I am not a girl. I can do stuff on my own. Why the hell can't people –especially supposed ninja prodigy geniuses- figure this out?!" Naruto proceeded to mutter things a bout being future Hokage and how much testosterone was needed to fill the position. This was followed by him mumbling about how Tsunade had enough testosterone for all the previous hokages put together.

"Dobe." Sasuke walked over to Naruto and put an arm around the smaller teens shoulder. He made sure to run his hand over the Uchiha symbol. Neji narrowed his eyes and glared at the symbol. Sasuke smirked then whispered into Naruto's ear. The boy frowned then glared.

"Wanna bet?"

"Hn."

"Teme! I am so much more manlier than you!"

"Keep telling yourself that!"

"Keep telling your self that you're getting some tonight!" He yelled taking position at the game booth. It was darts. Sasuke smirked in reply and picked up a dart. Naruto humphed then started to throw his darts onto the score board. People began to gather around the small booth, watching this small uke (though Naruto looked like a girl, he was an unmistakable uke in the public's eyes) compete with the Uchiha. Whispers ran through the crowd. Naruto fumed when he heard the words 'submissive uke' and 'owned and whipped by Sasuke-sama'. He however brightened up when he heard 'possessive like I don't know what'. This motivated Naruto. The two shinobi continued the game until the dart boards were completely filled with darts, and there were no more darts left to throw.

"Tie!" Someone announced.

Naruto looked satisfied, if not a little upset. Sasuke was smirking.

"What are you happy about?"

"I won the bet."

"The hell you did!"

"We only agreed if you were to _win_. Not if we were to _tie_." Sasuke chuckled at his own intelligence. Oh poor little Naruto, who currently was spluttering with indignity.

"You bastard." Sasuke prowled over to his prey and swept up his lover bridal style into his arms. He then turned to the crowd.

"You have to do it or I'm shipping out the pictures!" Sasuke whispered into Naruto's ear. Naruto weighed his choices. Do something demeaning to his pride, character and reputation. Or spend his life knowing that random people might be getting off to his naked pictures. He was pretty sure his mind was made up until he saw Sai leering at him from the crowd. He quickly changed his mind. With a deep breath (and with a huge blow to his pride and ego), Naruto looked up at Sasuke with wide glassy eyes. Sasuke's breath hitched when he saw how well Naruto was playing his part.

"Please?" Naruto said softly, stroking Sasuke's chest. The crowd held it's breath.

"Please, Sasuke-sama." Naruto whispered seductively into Sasuke's ears. While many of the people around them were trying to hide nose bleeds, Sasuke was trying to stand up and not fall to the ground with weak knees. Naruto was doing too well.

"I really need it." Oh lord. This was going to be Sasuke's undoing.

"I really need it badly." Naruto slowly trailed his hand into the opening of Sasuke's kimono. Sasuke caught his breath but then the unbelievable had happened. Within the time period of 2.1 seconds, Naruto snatched the pictures out of Sasuke's kimono, leapt out of Sasuke's arms and ripped the stack of photos to shreds, using his wind element.

"BASTARD!!" Naruto yelled stomping on the remains of the gold mine. "DEAD! THEY ARE ALL DEAD!!"

The crowd became confused as Naruto was jumping up and down on pieces of paper while Sasuke looked like he was about to cry. Naruto then turned to the last-soon to be no more- Uchiha.

"Sasuke-kun. You. Are. Dead." With that, Naruto kicked Sasuke in the head while Sasuke tried to scramble away.

The onlookers blinked in confusion until one of them spoke up.

"We were wrong."

"Yea." Someone answered back. "The Uchiha should be wearing the Uzumaki symbol."


End file.
